I think I’m demiromantic

like, I’m definitely pansexual, I am 110% sure I am sexually attracted to all genders, but I don’t think im romantically attracted to people im not very close with????? I dont kn ow how to explain this im just gonna keep typing so like every time I’ve really had a crush on someone that wasn’t purely aesthetics (“wow you’re pretty let me stare at you”), they’ve been really close friends of mine, theyve been someone i already know and trust and feel comfortable with. And these “crushes” don’t go away by telling them I’m interested, they usually stay until our friendship fades out, but only when our friendship fades out, which is something everyone feels maybe? I don’t know??

at the same time, I find myself thinking “wow how great would it be to be in a relationship” “how great would it be to be able to wake up next to someone who really cares about me and who i reciprocate those feelings for” and like, I want that. I’m always so happy when I’ve got a crush on someone because like, butterflies in my stomach and im so happy being around them and its so great because im around them a lot and we talk so much, but they’re so sporadic that I don’t tknow what to do in between because then I can remember those feelings and i want those feelings but those feelings only come around every so often and it takes so long for them to develop. 

I dated 1 person that i actually felt romantic attraction to, the other ones were before id really felt romantic attraction that what was good friendship that i mistook for romantic attraction. 

but then between these crushes, I’m definitely still sexually attracted to people theres no doubt about that, just nothing else, no romantic attraction.

So yeah, this was long and rambly but i just don’t know what im feeling and needed to let it out somewhere. I think Im going to continue identifying as queer until I really figure this out but yeah this makes me feel better just talking about it

If anyone actually read this far and can give me any insight into whether or not this is ow everyone is or not that would be neat too, because i dont know honestly i dont know